nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
