You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
