whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
