is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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