If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's blow job season.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
