i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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