The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
