Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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