you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
