what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
