I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
