Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize