Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
