Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
