We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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