Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
