I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
