Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
