I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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