I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
