I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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