I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize