Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
