He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
