he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
