Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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