dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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