as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
