I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
