i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
