I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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