Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
