I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize