I skipped work to stalk him.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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