Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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