I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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