We're facebook friends in real life
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
