when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
