i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
