ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize