every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
