I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
