32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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