i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
