Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
