I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I AM VODKA MAN
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
