Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
