I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
