As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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