i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize