At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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