It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
