It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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