Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
