Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
