Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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