Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
