meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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