Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
