I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
